I'll have you know that that FLY is a war hero.

Unless you are Hayley Mills, I am sure you can all relate to inexplicable hatred. You hate that guy at FYE who always tells you he needs your autograph on that credit card reciept. You hate your neighbor because she always leaves her trash can out for like three days. You hate the guy who drives the green Kia because he never leaves enough room to park behind him (and he's about two feet from the curb). Its easy to focus all of your frustrations on these people because not only are they frustrating, but that's all you know about them. That guy at FYE could volunteer away all of his free time on your favorite causes, he could agree with your political views exactly, he could be your best friend if you'd met under different circumstances... You just don't know. All you know is that he always asks for your autograph and that's really effing annoying.

So what happens when you finally learn more about this person? When a co-worker tells you that guy that you hate because he never says hi is just really shy and actually loves Sailor Moon and Ugly Betty and is awesome? When that guy at FYE recommends a CD to you and it ends up being the best CD ever? Personally, I become overwhelmed by guilt. I've spent who knows how long bitching about this person to any number of people and now they suddenly have some redeeming qualities. It's easy to hate George W. Bush but if I was stuck in an elevator with him and he had two joints in his pocket and we got to talking and when the elevator finally came back on I was somehow a little disappointed... I'd feel bad. Bad about anything I'd said. Sure, there's all this bad stuff... But what about that special time in the elevator when he became a cool human being that I liked?

Today, I am guilty. Marlene is volunteer here. A few of the volunteers are wonderful women. I accept that they are old and know a whole bunch of stuff and I like it when they pat me on the head and say, "I always forget that you're only 21". They're the toughest crowd, you know. They move slowly. Computers stump them. But for the most part they are nice to talk to and nice to have so that I don't have to rot in the "adult" store and can keep on dissecting owl pellets or making potholders or whatever it is that I do. There are two that I do not care for. No, not at all. Doris and Marlene are awful. They're rude, they're entitled (they've lived long and cushy lives!) and they're the reason old people have a rep for being annoying and old. The phone rings. "Who IS this," someone demands. Must be one of those two. Why are they calling? Computer problem. Its always the same and its always annoying.

Recently, Marlene has decided that she wants to be on the payroll. That's right, for some unknown reason, she would like to come in and work in our children's store two additional days. For money. I could understand her prescence before since it was free and all, but this seemed ludicrous. She is constantly at war with our merchandiser since she's got that amazing sense of entitlement and moves things around as she sees fit. Its gotten to the point where the merchandiser has threatened to threaten our boss with the classic, "Its HER OR ME!" (Which never works out. I find that you should make the other person so miserable that they screw themselves with the ole "them or me"). I was called over this morning to help her with a computer problem. She told me she was seeing the "leaves", which is the desktop background. "Does it say CAM at the bottom anyplace?" "No." I went over and, sure enough, she's somehow clicked out of the only program that needs to be open. How does one accidentally exit a program that asks you twice if you're sure you want to? It boggles the mind! So over I went. "You just need to click on CAM..... Double click... Click and click again... Click twice in a row.... Ok, there ya go." And its always that simple.

I complained about that a LOT. Its annoying! And we're going to pay her for this? We're going to put her alone in a store where she may not be able to have someone come help her when she messes up the computer. I told my boss all of this. My boss told me she would be a good "grandmother type" to have in the children's store. I just screwed up my face and said, "I don't really get that from her." And then.... she suddenly became a human.

I went to relieve her for lunch and she said, "Do you think you could think of some things I should learn about computers to teach me? I really feel comfortable with you, Annie. Do you think I need to take a course or something?"

Uh.
Buh.
Guh.
I am a horrible person.

She knows she's bad at computers. She wants to learn about them but she doesn't know how. She wants my help.

I suppose the only way to atone is to teach her some things and shut my big mouth. Doesn't she know she is a flat character? The moral is, of course, that you shouldn't just hate a person because there is way more to them than just that annoying thing they always do. A lesson, I suspect, I will continue relearning until the day I die. I bet my last words will be, "If that fucking nurse brings me ham one more time...".