This could be the staaart, of something neeeww...

I haven't written my first blog yet because I've been too unsure of myself. I mean, I just stare at this vast empty blog and wonder what to write. Not that my head isn't a constant stream of hilarity, but how to translate that to a few typed paragraphs? Not to mention it seems that a good number of people hear "nonsense" or "retardedness" instead of hilarity. But retardedness isn't even a word, so suck on that, haterzz.

The real question I am grappling with is whether to write about the day-to-day or be more organized. Should I narrow it down to a specific topic? Should I just write about books or TV shows or Disney? Should I write about how hard my life is and complain constantly? No, no. Leave that to the pros. The thing is, I WANT to have a gimmick. I want to be that annoying lady in the forums asking for "feedback", waiting for my big break. The problem is, I certainly am not going to start pimping out a blog that I'm not pleased with. I've had internet popularity in my youth, its a funny and addicting thing. Why not return to my place in the sun? Sure, I've lived out in the big, bad world and made it on my own, just to prove to everyone on the internet that I could. Well, now I am back and ready to take it by storm. Maybe its a big undertaking, but I feel its my obligation to the community that made me what I am. That said, to get my old friends back, this would have to be an *NSYNC/Neopets blog.

I guess I am back at square one.

Wow, I zoned out, reliving the old days, for a moment and it suddenly struck me how weird it was that, at age 12, I was writing fan fiction about Lance Bass (I had no idea he was gay. I never do. You know what they say, "Always a fag hag, never a bride."). I was writing fan fiction that hundreds of people were reading and clamoring to get into. They would fill out an "application" and I would then choose the lucky few who'd be paired with the other *NSYNCers (I was with Lance of COURSE). And its not like it was a bunch of other 12 year-olds, I was the youngest. Most of the people I associated with were in their 20's. People in their 20's who got their kicks from some good old Lance Bass porn penned by a 12 year-old who'd never seen a penis before...

Anyway. Here's a little information for you. I work at a museum. The shops here are run extremely ineffectually leaving me with a whole lot of free time where I have nothing to do except read a book, listen to the radio, or engage in some internet activity. This particular computer does not have Flash player (it thinks it does, but it doesn't, and I don't have the heart to tell it) so Spider and Paint are the only "games" I can play. I hope to utilize my Paint skillzz to spice up this place a little bit. My daily reads are Television Without Pity (specifically Ugly Betty/Gossip Girl Y Jacob) and Cracked. Usually something I read on one of those will lead me down a twisted Wiki-path of learning where I end up emailing my dad weird old game shows that have been destroyed, spouting off "fun facts" all night to my friends ("Did you know Gene Rayburn's parents were from Croatia and he could speak Croatian??!") or reading about new and interesting conspiracy theories to keep my friends in the know (you KNOW there's gotta be another reason Bob Barker wanted pets spayed and neutered).

So what to put in here? Inane rambling? Lists? Opinions? Topics? Ack. Let's play it by ear, people. There are two rules I am setting for myself. A) This is not for drunk writing. My laptop is dead right now and I've only got the work computer, so hopefully this should not be a problem. I am swearing, right here and now, to never clutter this with poorly written, misspelling-laden, alcohol-induced garbage that would just get deleted in the morning anyway. And B) I promise to never qualify. There's nothing I hate more than someone who's always going "I might be wrong, but..." or "This is just my opinion...". I refuse to allow myself to do this! I will not write anything that I won't stand by. Think of the one person you can never beat in an argument. I guarantee the person you're thinking of is hard-headed and says things with such blind confidence in their opinion that you are sometimes scared to even respond. They may be making up what they are saying completely, but they are SO SURE of it... They just said something that made no sense at all and is so ridiculous and absurd that you can't even come back with anything. ("I would never vote for someone named HUSSEIN." "Uh... buh... guh... that's GAY!") That said, I may be in the express lane to becoming that person. The difference is, I am RIGHT. Duh. Also, I say I won't write drunk. There is another recreational activity I enjoy and its fair game, maaaan. If you think, 'Wow, this is blowing my mind!' then that probably explains it.

Alright. There it is. Legendary first blog. First day of the rest of my life. Please comment, even if its crap ("Your retarded" "You have a lot of comma splices"). More structure to follow. Aaaand... Bye!