July 17, 2010

parade kills brains dead

Ok, I know. I haven't written in forever. It is, perhaps, my greatest flaw. But I don't have the Internet at home right now, so I occasionally write an involved "Annie Teaches You Some History" blog that I can't actually post anywhere. Once I get it fixed, though, I am going to have a whole slew of blogs to just post daily. (Weekly? There aren't that many...) Also, I have been working at work lately. A lot. When it comes to the future and what I'm going to do, well, it's a lot less depressing to just put my nose down and keep working than to ponder such things. But anyway, that's a downer. The point is, I just haven't really been able to blog much. I have not given up on the whole affair, though.

I quickly jotted down a few things to write about to ease back into the whole blog writing rhythm.
Let's begin with the Hills finale! The show has been pretty uneventful and boring this season. I don't care about Kristin and Brody's childish relationship. They both deserve whatever they get with it, likewise with Audrina and JB. I don't care about Stephanie Pratt. Spencer and Heidi were barely on this season (but when they were, it was gold). So, really I couldn't have cared less about whether Kristin was going to leave and whether Brody was going to care that she was. I was happy for Lo but I wouldn't say I find her storyline particularly interesting. BUT then the ending happened! For those that didn't see it, Brody says goodbye to Kristin, leaving for Europe, and she gets into the car which pulls away. They cut to Brody standing in front of the Hollywood Hills, looking...thoughtful? I'm not sure what he was going for. Sad? Afraid? Some sort of solemn expression on the Brody Jenner List of General Expressions to Imply Thought. Then the background looks weird and starts moving because its a BACKDROP! They pull it away as the camera pulls out to reveal that they're on a backlot. And Kristin's car is like 10 feet away! She hops out, hugs Brody, and they walk away.

It was... Surreal. Awesome. I loved it. I sort of feel as though the negative responses to it I have read are indicative of the general intelligence level of Hills fans. A lot of people going, "So you're saying ITS FAKE?!" I think it's up for interpretation, which is awesome that they'd do something like that anyway, but I felt like it was just supposed to be like a mindfuck of sorts. DiVello called it a "wink" to viewers. I'll just call it awesome.

I am really enjoying the new show Huge on ABC Family. I fully expected to hate it, so it was a very pleasant surprise. The teenagers on it actually act and look like teenagers. Their self-esteem issues are very realistic. The main character, when told she has to be in a bathing suit for a "before" picture, does a sort-of striptease to undermine the camp director. She seems extremely confident here, doing this in front of everyone in the camp. But then afterwards, she says how embarrassed she is that she did it. The characters are all like this--realistic, multi-faceted. And it's nice to have a show where everybody's fat. This allows them to just be human beings, not a token character or a completely sympathetic one. Storylines about the Camp Director seem a bit misplaced, though. Long-lost father and affair with the Camp Director at the neighboring Tennis Camp? I think we've got enough without adding those plotlines in. But genuinely funny moments and realistic teens make this my surprise favorite summer show.

Besides new TV, the summer brings us stupid parades. Stupid, stupid parades! I made the mistake of going to our local community 4th of July parade and it was the most irritating thing. Parents letting their kids run out into the street to get candy. Some annoying woman with big teeth constantly letting her balloon hit us in the head. One of my craziest neighbors carrying a sceptor of sorts and wearing a New Year's hat. The sun was relentless. And the floats were just utter crap. People didn't even bother to do anything besides put a sticker on the side of a car. Local politicians abounded, of course, but it makes one wonder why. They don't make an effort to make an impressive float, they are all there so no candidate stands out as being more personable soo... Why? Why did I have to look at Jean Schmidt's ugly dinosaur neck and her dumb ponytail? And let us not forget the enormous local Tea Party, proudly tromping down the street, decrying taxes. I'm wondering if they went to the fireworks? And if they think fireworks are free? Ah, but that is a different blog.

Oh, and all two of the local Democrats! Hey, guys!

I wasn't expecting the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade, but it seemed just really low-quality in all regards. From children rushing the streets to the awkward way they kept having to stop the parade so that it took about twenty years for the thing to end... How many years have they done this? Seems like they should have it down to a science. And then there were the many, many churches. At least five or six different churches were represented. One was handing out Revised American History pamphlets. Another was throwing Religious Silly Bands to the kids, in the most blatant attempt to lure them in. All had candy. "Say, I like this God guy. You get candy. And Silly Bands!" It makes me supremely uncomfortable to have these people in my face, not least because I am scared they're going to try and talk to me.

And THEN. There was the Estate Tax Petition Guy. Who I would bet my life does not make enough money to be effected by the tax. Who I was very anxious was going to come try to talk to me. So, not only was the parade very un-entertaining, it made me anxious. It was like I was at a Republican Convention mixed with a Church Service and people kept touching me and my brain was just really freaking out about it.

Needless to say, I don't think I will be attending the parade next year.

Well, I suppose I'm done for now. I promise I will try to write more. I guess that promise is mainly for me, since I don't think anyone really reads this regularly. But it is a promise nonetheless.

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