a cautionary tale

I will never forget the time that I almost died at Disney World. Okay, I'm being a bit dramatical. But it's my right! So my friend Jennie and I had just arrived in Disney World. We were staying on the Boardwalk so we headed for Epcot as soon as we got there. We were in line for Soarin' and were about 50 minutes deep in a 90 minute wait. We were engaged in a pretty heated battle with the people behind us. They were a pushy family and were trying to sneakily move past us in the wide queue line, as will happen to a group of two. The two of us sort of banded together with the family in front of us to prevent them from moving past. We made something of a wall and we could see the woman trying to edge past... It was really annoying. But at the same time I wonder if we were all on the same page in all that. Anyway, on to the dying part.

We were enjoying the trivia thingies on the wall and our queue combat when all of a sudden I knew I was about to create a protein spill. There was an exit from the queue, so I told Jennie to stay in line and I was gonna go vom. Then I got really hot and everything started sounding very far away. That's when everything went blue. I don't black out, I blue out. This is the part I don't recall, but I apparently lurched forward towards the railing and knocked some people's shit off of it. I bet I looked awesome. That's when the two Mom's involved in our battle went into full Mom mode. Before I knew it the lady in front gave me a water bottle and the lady behind me put a cool compress on my neck. I was coming out of my haze when the woman in front of me said, "Look, her sweat broke!" and then offered me some Goldfish crackers.

They saved me, really. I had made the grave error of not hydrating myself properly for a day of July Orlando heat. Air conditioning or not, you must, MUST, have a bottle of water upon arrival. I wouldn't have died, surely. But it would have forever been the vacation where Annie passed out in line and the medics had to come and blah blah. But thanks to those helpful Moms, I made a speedy recovery and we all just waited in line and got on the ride like nothing happened. I'm just as grateful that they acted like this was completely normal and I didn't almost just pass out in line as I am that they helped me. When you're in a queue line, you're part of a team. You're all there, you're all gonna have to wait. You have to function as a community. Sometimes you have to whip out a cold compress to remember that people in line are just that--people. They're not just orange cones in your way. And sometimes they almost die and throw up on you and knock your stuff over. And that is when you offer them Goldfish.

More favorite Disney memories to come. What will be next? The dirty diaper one? The one in which Grandma told Grandpa to shut up? We shall see!