change of heart

I think I'm giving up tabloids and gossip web sites for good. I just can't take all the HATE anymore. That's really what its about. We love to judge people and hate them. Jon and Kate just got its best ratings ever at a time when they are at their most hated---why do we love to have negative feelings? I'm over it, personally. I'm over being hateful and judgemental and wallowing in negativity. I used to love the snark but I think its a side effect of the prevailing negativity of our society and its not like it used to be. I like making fun of things to find humor but that really doesn't always have to be mean. Maybe there are others, feeling the same way, and the tide will turn and we'll get a little more positive. But I think things seem hopeless enough when you turn on the news, and its not making me feel any better to make normal people celebrities so we can crucify them. Its not making me feel any better criticizing people for such minor things when I am far from a perfect person. Its especially not making me feel better pointing fingers at others and saying, "You asked for this!!" when they didn't. Just because tabloids exist and paparazzi exist and they do crazy things... I mean, how are the paparazzi legal? How is making fun of an 8 year old on the Soup ok, even if said 8 year old was on television? Where is the line? It seems like there is none. And we're constantly crying out to Perez because we want blood. Its pathetic and sad. I've been as judgemental and mean as anyone and I'm sure I will continue to be both of those things at times in the future. But I certainly am going to make an effort to understand and sympathize with people before judging them. And I'm done with tabloids forever.

The whole time the whole Britney thing was happening, all I could think was how lucky I was I wasn't made famous at 16. She had a problem, she had a breakdown, she was a person who needed help and was suffering and the whole world was watching. So what did we do? Smiled with glee as it all happened. We made her a star and then we couldn't wait to see her go crazy and fall to pieces. I don't GET IT. Do we not want others to succeed? Why is the reaction automatically that she's terrible and take her kids away and judge judge judge instead of wanting her to get help and get better and being sad when she was acting out? And she's finally making a comeback and getting her life together and what do we do? Call her fat, tell lies about her life, criticize her performance. I don't think there's a way to justify it. And it says something about you if you try.

I just wish everyone tried to understand everyone else. The whole country feels polarized and there's this constant need for others to be wrong and you to be right. But I really think we all, myself included, need to take a step back and realize that we'll be a lot happier if we try to understand others before we judge them and then, after you've tried to understand and not rushed to hate, and we STILL hate them, then its ok. And, you know, people like Kanye... They give you a license...

Twilight venting.

I am around page 400 in New Moon (Bold and Italic... where is the underline??). We're short-staffed at work today, which means that I get to sit in one spot with nothing to do but read. Normally I'd enjoy this. Today I am not. Because I am stuck with the crap that is the Twilight series. People who know me (perhaps too well) have accused me of not liking it on purpose, but I assure you that this isn't the case. I love young adult books. I enjoy a good vampire story. I have been guilty of disliking things just because they are popular (not purposefully, its weird) but I should point out that I have never not liked something when it is popular with KIDS. In fact, that's a surefire way to get me to love something. I knew nothing about Twilight except that it was a teen sensation. I expected nothing but a good story.

400 pages into the second book, I've encountered nothing good. I am determined to stick with it, mostly because my bff told me that its all worth it for the fourth book and that she almost didn't make it, too. Why is this such a huge thing? I absolutely can't understand it. The books are first person, which is extremely irritating because then you have to hear Bella's retarded thoughts. The first book is almost entirely her and Edward talking. I don't say falling in love because we are basically told that they are in love, as if that's how it works. Ah! The epic romance! You don't see them falling for each other. What we know from Bella's thoughts are that he's uber attractive. Why else does she like him?? Because he becomes easily enraged to the point of near abuse? He's dangerous and he's hot. That's it. And you better take her word for it that he's hot, you'll never hear a word to describe him otherwise. He's got auburn hair (or is it bronze? Bella doesn't seem to know either) and a muscular chest. And he's gorgeous. That's it, that's all you'll get, that right there. Bella is pale and 5'4". Hope that's enough for you too! Oh, and did I mention the only reason Edward likes Bella is because she smells so good and he wants to drink her blood? Certainly one of the most shallow love stories I have ever encountered.

Bella is the most worthless human being of all time. This is how it goes--She gets into a situation where her life is threatened. She doesn't put up any kind of fight and realizes that this is the end, she is going to die. Cue Edward (or Jacob, where I am currently) to save the day! Ta-da! A 21st century damsel in distress. She cooks and cleans too, boys! What are her dreams? Her goals? Her ambitions? EDWARD. Yep, that's it, that's all she wants from life is Edward. College fund? Spent. In fact, her real dream is to become a vampire so she can spend an eternity with Edward. The amazing Bella can't even walk, she's always falling. I'm not sure if this was just thrown in to make her character less flat or just to make her even more worthless than she already is.

Why else is Bella annoying? She moves to Forks and is the new kid at school. And all the boys are madly in love with her. But she doesn't get it. She's plain, she says. Well, clearly not, Bells. She also constantly claims to be shy but never exhibits any shyness! Ever! In fact, she's quite the opposite. She's also supposed to be smart. When does she ever show her brain, either? I've yet to see it. Edward wants to eat her (this is the only reason he likes her). Edward, go ahead. Get nice and full. Bella SUCKS.

The writing itself is also pretty awful. The repetition of words is maddening. Topaz, sinuous, repentant, scowl, grin. And its boring. All talk, no action. Bad writing can be canceled out by a great story. I think there were about 10 pages in Twilight where something actually happened (in Phoenix) and even that wasn't very exciting. Its just all so tedious.

So why so popular? When I googled "Why is Twilight so popular?" I was prompted, so I don't feel so alone. I guess I am really bothered by the fact that teenage girls are looking up to Bella. She has no goals or dreams outside of Edward and their romance is hardly something I would want any teenager emulating. I also certainly wouldn't want anyone thinking that Edward is the perfect man. He's ridiculously controlling. But he's so pretty! Oh! Ok. He's a creepy stalker that would GO INTO HER BEDROOM AND WATCH HER SLEEP!!!!

I've really been needing to vent about these monstrosities. Terrible book, terrible message, terrible writing. I haven't decided if I'm going to read the third and fourth books. I definitely need a break after this one.

I will leave you with this brilliant bit of prose from the amazingly shitty Mrs. Stephenie Meyer:

"If he really was a werewolf, then people would be shooting at him! I needed to tell him and his friends that people would try to kill them if they went running around like gigantic wolves. I needed to tell them to stop." -New Moon, pg 297-8

I can't believe it took all that schooling for her to write with the style and quality of a 12 year old.