Twilight time

Suddenly I was hit with the urge to see Twilight. I was going to wait until it didn't cost me any money, but I suppose my curiosity got the better of me. The audience was comprised of my friend Whitney, three other women and myself. Two women sat together (one looked as though she may have leapt from her seat at the screen at any moment) and there was one loner. I was ready. I now present for you my opinion.

Overall, it really wasn't good. You may be shocked to read that there were things about it that I enjoyed. For instance, Jessica and Mike. The only people in the film (and book, I suppose) who act like actual teenagers and very welcome comic relief. Right as I was about to take my last breath before boredom finally did me in, they popped up and (intentionally) made me laugh. The next two things that I liked really surprised me. First of all, vampire baseball was awesome. I really hadn't expected that part to be enjoyable, especially once I saw how stupid all the vampires looked when they'd do their fast running thing. But, miracle of miracles, this was a very fresh, exciting scene that this dull, dull film badly needed. And Muse! I cringed when I read that Stephenie Meyer liked a band that I also liked, but it all worked out in the end. Perhaps the most shocking thing that I liked was...deep breath...Edward.

I hate him in the book and I certainly don't care for Robert Pattinson (no matter how lonely and awkward Life&Style tries to convince me he is) but somehow I liked Edward. Don't worry; I'm not attracted to him. I don't see any "I heart boys that sparkle" shirts in my future. The only reason I can think of for this is because in the book we see Edward from Bella's eyes. This time I saw him from my own eyes. When he acted ridiculous, I could laugh without having to hear her stupid thoughts about it. Which brings me to the inappropriate laughter. It seems that every movie I go to, I let out a loud guffaw incontrollably at an unintentionally funny part. It came in this film after Edward spits that Bella can't get on their bus and then angrily pounds his fist on the bus door. It was just so ridiculous and Fonz-like, I couldn't contain my amusement.

Now for the bad stuff. It was ass-boring but I'm not sure how you could make a film from that book that wasn't since NOTHING HAPPENS but that's another post. First of all, I know its probably been said, but they're supposed to be crazy attractive. Alice? I mean, she's a pretty girl and all but gorgeous she is not. Her and Jasper are such a hair mess--I don't even know. I could understand if they styled all of them to look like what was attractive at the time of their change, but there is no excuse for Alice or the weird pointy monstrosity eating her head. Also, Victoria, James and the third dude are all fugly too. I can't help but think that if any of those people attacked me that I'd die laughing.

Jacob seemed so thrown in. I feel like they should've expanded his part or just not included him at all. And now they're not sure if they're going to use the same actor? What's the point of that? Charlie was awful. All the "awkward" moments between Bella and him were so manufactured. Oops! We both reached for the ketchup at the same time! Because it was in the script!

I did notice Robert's accent slipping in at some points... I mean, they are clearly cranking these out quickly to make the most of them, not trying to make good films, so can we blame the actors for phoning it in?

I enjoyed it more than I expected to but it was still a giant, smelly snoozefest. I remain baffled by the popularity of it. I have yet to read any reviews on it, so that's my next stop. I give it 1 out of 5 stars.

Oh, and Stephenie Meyer, don't make another cameo.