either the crock pot worked or this came out on its own

I haven't had any caffeine yet, can you tell? By the end of this will you say, "Oh, she sounded off"? Odd thing, caffeine. I wonder what percentage of the country is addicted to it. Doesn't it seem like it should be some kind of epidemic? Like, oh my giddy god we are all addicted to a drug and we are effing grumpy until we get it.

I'm going to be the anti-Lennon here and imagine worse things than are actually happening. Seriously, imagine if the number of people addicted to caffeine were addicted to cocaine instead. And we'd have cocaine infused drinks and wear hilarious shirts that say, "Don't talk to me until I've had my cocaine". Actually I would kind of like to have that shirt.

My Blackberry had a death drop the other night, causing the rolly ball to fall out which renders it pretty much useless for anything other than phone calls. Went to the store and got a new Samsung Magnet. So far I really miss my Blackberry. A lot. You know, all those things you live without until you have them and then you just can't live without them. I miss looking up call history. I miss my text conversations showing up so I can see the last few things everyone said easily. And, perhaps most tragically, I miss having a rolly ball.

Reading the user manual for the phone I quickly realized that my dreams that it had all kinds of great features that I would unearth by reading the manual were just dreams. No such features exist. I'll get used to it, I can't afford the Blackberry. But I hope it knows I miss it, and nothing will ever be as good as it was.

So now I'm living in a world where everyone is addicted to cocaine and there are no Blackberry rolly balls. Not a very pretty picture, is it? Also, there are dinosaurs. Tragic. Just tragic. Volcanos exploding and everyone tweaking around the store, throwing their Blackberrys at me in frustration... Yes. My god. Is this what I have to look forward to? Its all any of us has.

The roaring became a constant rumble of noise as the black clouds thinned out and magma spewed from the volcano's mouth. The sudden addition of gases to the atmosphere had blocked out the sun and caused the immediate dissolving of all Blackberry rolly balls. Suddenly, a piercing cry rang out in the eerie calmness. "What am I supposed to do without my ROLLY BALL?" came the cry that broke through the rumbling and ash-thickened air. Hanging their heads in despair, the population of the world crumbled in defeat. It was the end of text messaging and they knew what this meant. From now on, they were going to have to actually make phone calls. Few could take it. Choking on ash and writhing in despair, many threw themselves into the awaiting mouths of the dinosaurs. Some remained optimistic. "We can do it," they'd remind themselves. "We can rebuild the world. We can make it without rolly balls." But even the cheeriest eventually had to admit defeat, as the Earth came to a grinding halt. They had forgotten, you see, that our world is but one big rolly ball. The object remains, floating motionless and black, littered with discarded Blackberrys. Worthless now as ever, carrying on just for the sake of carrying on. The age of man had ended with the end of the rolly ball. The dinosaurs, engorged from their feast, blasted off into space for new adventures. And Earth? It waits. Waits for a new day, a new dawn. Waits for a new phone.

grabber-gate

There is something magical about the dinosaur shop. Maybe its because I know its really mine when all is said and done. Maybe its because its nice and small and I know where everything is. Maybe its because of the dulcet tones of groaning velociraptors fill the air-- I can't really be sure. But I love it down here and it has drudged up an Annie who I haven't known in a while. She's in a good mood, she's nice to customers no matter how annoying they are, and she works her tail (har) off to the point of a sweat glaze everyday.

I have begun reading the last Twilight book and so far I want to punch Stephenie Meyer in the face once for everytime she says "twinkle lights". Bella and Edward are married, oh happy day, much rejoicing, blah blah and they're off to their honeymoon. As you can tell, I have not read very much yet.

I read the last two Georgia Nicholson books (Love is A Many Trousered Thing and Stop in the Name of Pants!) and they are full of hilarity as usual. They're beyond quick reads but they've made me want to reread the whole series so bravo. They are just so so hilarious. Everyone should read one, even if it must be secretly.

We got these new shirts in at work that are black with different germs all over it and it says in 50's horror movie font "GERMS: Know your enemy". I was wearing it yesterday when I got the nerdiest come-on in all of history... While pointing at dysentery (yes it is on my boob): "Bet you wouldn't want to eat that." He then went on to tell me that there were a few on the shirt he hadn't seen "IRL". My friends seem fixated on the fact that I even knew what "IRL" meant. Everyone knows I am a socially functional nerd.

WHY can't you pet seizure dogs? I want to SO BAD.

Coming up soon... a few book reviews, I'm on the brink on a few, including a book on capitalism that shows off a glowing endorsement from Ron Paul (which I failed to notice when I checked it out). Bet you can't wait to hear why we women-folk actually deserve lower salaries than men.

Also, in case you didn't notice, High School Musical 3 came out on DVD yesterday and all of you should really have a copy. Zefron is hot and there's no denying it so stop trying. I did, and I've been a happier person for it.