either the crock pot worked or this came out on its own

I haven't had any caffeine yet, can you tell? By the end of this will you say, "Oh, she sounded off"? Odd thing, caffeine. I wonder what percentage of the country is addicted to it. Doesn't it seem like it should be some kind of epidemic? Like, oh my giddy god we are all addicted to a drug and we are effing grumpy until we get it.

I'm going to be the anti-Lennon here and imagine worse things than are actually happening. Seriously, imagine if the number of people addicted to caffeine were addicted to cocaine instead. And we'd have cocaine infused drinks and wear hilarious shirts that say, "Don't talk to me until I've had my cocaine". Actually I would kind of like to have that shirt.

My Blackberry had a death drop the other night, causing the rolly ball to fall out which renders it pretty much useless for anything other than phone calls. Went to the store and got a new Samsung Magnet. So far I really miss my Blackberry. A lot. You know, all those things you live without until you have them and then you just can't live without them. I miss looking up call history. I miss my text conversations showing up so I can see the last few things everyone said easily. And, perhaps most tragically, I miss having a rolly ball.

Reading the user manual for the phone I quickly realized that my dreams that it had all kinds of great features that I would unearth by reading the manual were just dreams. No such features exist. I'll get used to it, I can't afford the Blackberry. But I hope it knows I miss it, and nothing will ever be as good as it was.

So now I'm living in a world where everyone is addicted to cocaine and there are no Blackberry rolly balls. Not a very pretty picture, is it? Also, there are dinosaurs. Tragic. Just tragic. Volcanos exploding and everyone tweaking around the store, throwing their Blackberrys at me in frustration... Yes. My god. Is this what I have to look forward to? Its all any of us has.

The roaring became a constant rumble of noise as the black clouds thinned out and magma spewed from the volcano's mouth. The sudden addition of gases to the atmosphere had blocked out the sun and caused the immediate dissolving of all Blackberry rolly balls. Suddenly, a piercing cry rang out in the eerie calmness. "What am I supposed to do without my ROLLY BALL?" came the cry that broke through the rumbling and ash-thickened air. Hanging their heads in despair, the population of the world crumbled in defeat. It was the end of text messaging and they knew what this meant. From now on, they were going to have to actually make phone calls. Few could take it. Choking on ash and writhing in despair, many threw themselves into the awaiting mouths of the dinosaurs. Some remained optimistic. "We can do it," they'd remind themselves. "We can rebuild the world. We can make it without rolly balls." But even the cheeriest eventually had to admit defeat, as the Earth came to a grinding halt. They had forgotten, you see, that our world is but one big rolly ball. The object remains, floating motionless and black, littered with discarded Blackberrys. Worthless now as ever, carrying on just for the sake of carrying on. The age of man had ended with the end of the rolly ball. The dinosaurs, engorged from their feast, blasted off into space for new adventures. And Earth? It waits. Waits for a new day, a new dawn. Waits for a new phone.