Seacrested Butte

I know you've all been wondering whether or not I watch American Idol and really clamoring for my opinion on this year's contestants. Well, I've decided to give you what you want. Yes, it's here at long last. Who do I like? Who do I think will win? This.......Is (my) American Idol (blog).

Crystal Bowersox is obviously the most consistent, but this does't necessarily constitute a win. However, I don't know of any past performers who have been as consistent. She's gotta bite it eventually, right? Even Clay Aiken had his "Somewhere Out There". Let's think about all of her performances since the Top 24. "Hand in My Pocket", "Give Me One Reason", "You Can't Always Get What You Want", "Me and Bobby McGee", "Midnight Train to Georgia", "Come Together", "Saved" and "People Get Ready". My prehistoric computer will not allow me to watch videos of these past performances to confirm, but I'm pretty sure everything she's ever done has been awesome. I really don't want to like her but she doesn't often give me any reason to hate her so she's really growing on me.

Lee DeWyze has also grown on me over the weeks. "Chasing Cars" and "Fireflies" and "Treat Her Like a Lady" were all really awful. But I want to like him. He's got that Chad Kroeger-y voice but, I mean, I guess the difference is that I find him attractive. I want him to stay just for me to look at. I wasn't crazy about his "Boxer" performance but I think that's more about my random particularity. I like where he's headed with that performance, though. And, it should be noted, he has never been in the bottom 3.

Michael Lynche, or Inverse Danny Gokey, as I call him, is sort of Ruben-esque in that he sings and it's pretty and it makes you want to vote for him but if you really think about it you have no interest in actually listening to the music he'd make. I want him singing over the credits to a Disney film or something and that's really about it. I really dug "Eleanor Rigby" but David Cook's version was so good that I couldn't help but compare the two.

Casey James. Oh, Casey James. It's funny, I really don't care for him but I remember more of his performances than anyone else's. Probably because he's really good, he just needs to make, like, a lateral move. Because week after week I remark how he just sounds like the best damn wedding singer that I've ever heard. Like, freaking out of this world wedding singer. Case in point? "The Power of Love". He didn't really change it much, just sang it. And you know what? It was REALLY good! If I heard it at my cousin's wedding reception. Any other venue and what's the point of it? Its not even karaoke because it sounds like him singing it with his band. Like I should be sitting outside at a bar, listening to him and drinking and saying, "Wow, this dude should go on American Idol!"

Siobhan. Where do I begin? She's been sucking so bad lately that I can't even remember a time when I liked her that much. I don't even really like her voice anymore. And her whiny "I don't even know who I am" speech really turned me off. Sorry, Siobhan. I think that for a moment, you could've gone to the end. But you're like a little lost sheep that doesn't get that it can still be a special little sheep but it still has to do what people tell it sheep are supposed to do.

Aaron Kelly blah blah. He's the Dark Horse in all this. I don't think people are aware of how long this little guy could potentially stay in it. Without Tim Urban to split the horny tween vote, he could really explode.

This week the theme is Shania Twain songs, which sounds horrid but I think it will be a really interesting challenge. Whoever sings "From This Moment On" is going to be really bad. I don't know who's going to do it, but someone is. Aaron Kelly will obviously sing "Man, I Feel Like A Woman". I expect Siobhan will do something really weird and not awesome again. I think she could be gone this week.

As for a final two? I'm going to go ahead and say we will be seeing Crystal versus Aaron. Probably really Crystal versus Lee. But if Casey or Lee don't go soon, they're going to be splitting the vote for their audience, I think, and one of them must perish or neither can succeed. But will Crystal win? Now that, I don't know. The people you're sure will win never seem to win. But then again, I don't know if anyone's ever been as good as Crystal. So, if I had to bet now, I'd go ahead and put my money on a Crystal/Aaron Final Two with a Crystal win. However, if its a Crystal/Lee Final Two, my money is on Lee. But only time and effing Shania Twain week will tell.

the answer is hoooooooooooooooooooooooome

About once a year there is absolutely, positively nothing on. My DVR becomes a barren wasteland. Looking at it fills me with despair. The dreaded question springs into my mind--'What am I going to watch?' I turn to the On Demand channels, which I assume are one reason I pay a billion dollars a month for cable, but they rarely fill more than one evening. So in these times of crisis, I turn to reruns. (I wonder what percentage of programming is made up of reruns; I bet its an unsettling number.)

I think reruns are best enjoyed when it is a show you've never seen and you wait until the first episode of the series is on. That way, you can watch every episode, in order, conveniently rationed out into daily servings of old TV. Even a show like Seinfeld, where there really is no storyline that you need to follow, is best viewed in its original order. There is something discommoding about seeing someone age ever so slightly in just twenty minutes. I have done this ever since my dad decided to buy this new fangled contraption called a TiVo back when nobody knew what a TiVo was. I can still remember describing it to very uninterested people who acted like it was the most worthless thing they'd ever heard of (and now cannot live without DVRs). I watched a show called Ladies Man due to an untreated Alfred Molina obsession that still sort of leaves me scratching my head. I guess I just like big lugs. Anyway, after that I started watching ER. I'd never watched it and it was broadcast on TNT for two hours every morning. By the end of that year, I was an ER expert.

It opened my eyes. Just because you don't watch a show the first time around, doesn't mean you can't someday enjoy it just the same. For instance, Lost, Heroes and 24. All are (or were, at least) hit shows that I just couldn't fit into my DVR schedule. Summer brings reruns of current shows, but they're sometimes shown out of order or missing an episode. They're just not very reliable. I would definitely have watched all three of those shows, had I not committed myself to two other shows on at the same time. I can rest easy, though, because if those shows are as great as the hype, someday TNT or TBS or WGN will rerun them. And that's when I will make my move.

Over the years I've watched Ladies Man, ER, Saddle Club (er...nevermind), Little House on the Prairie, Sex and the City, The Sopranos, Seinfeld, and Boston Public and probably a few others my brain doesn't feel like remembering. There is a strange joy from watching them this way. I'm not sure quite what the difference is, either, aside from the fact that they are no longer new and no longer hot. I can't think of any sort of simile to reason it out. Its a modern mystery, perhaps. In any case, it gets me through those unbearable summer TV months without having to turn to drivel like Wipeout or More to Love (what I consider worthwhile and what I consider drivel is entirely arbitrary).

However, Hallmark Channel has pulled the rug right out from under me. For quite a while now, I have been enjoying two hours of 7th Heaven a day. This is a show I watched early in its original run, but I was the same age as Simon when it was on, so my memory is lacking. I lovingly refer to it as a study in bad TV. Early on its not quite as bad, but once Brenda Hampton is given free reign anything can happen. Its just ridiculous. All of the actors (with the exception of Stephen Collins) are thoroughly terrible but in the same way. The shots are cheesy, the plotlines are ludicrous and the dialogue, well, it speaks for itself (I couldn't resist). Its like every layer, every possible thing, is consistently bad. Its like the ugliest quilt you've ever seen. The stitches are uneven, but they're uneven in the same way, throughout. The colors are bug fugnuts and yet somehow they work together to make something uniformly awful. Its the worst thing you've ever laid eyes on but you have to look closer and really study it. Its like an ugly dog that you fall in love with at the pound, even though it has three legs and mange and is incontinent. Somehow, some way, its hideousness becomes endearing.

But Hallmark seems to think it necessary to add yet another hour of both Touched By An Angel and Little House on the Prairie to its schedule, for a total of 6 hours a day of those shows. And the worst part is, there was no warning. My DVR told me about the future episodes of 7th Heaven and allowed me to schedule them for recording. It even recorded what it thought was two 7th Heaven's that were not. Why did they do this to me? Did they read my relentless mocking on Twitter and take it to heart? Are there really people who have been crying out for more Touched By An Angel? Or did 7th Heaven turn out to be just too risque for them, after having to censor "butt" and "boob" one too many times? Whatever the reason, I am heartbroken. I had come to enjoy those two beastly hours a day. What would Brenda have for me? What new friends in need of help would the kids make today? What embarrassing guest appearance would fill me with delight? Would Peter Graves show up?? Would there be a whole plotline just about a pot roast? Ah. It seems like only yesterday.What would possess Hallmark to make such an abrupt change? I am genuinely interested. I have very little knowledge about television programming decisions. But I really wish they'd change their minds. Letter writing campaign, anyone?

I think the worst part is that I was left high and dry. There are desperate TV times and I simply can't afford to lose that much programming with no warning. And now I am left wondering----What am I gonna watch???

my brains rotting out

Of everything I read, of everything I try to learn about, the one thing that is really effortless is Disney. Somehow I retain all the fun facts that I read. I read so many nonfiction books trying to increase my knowledge of science and history, but my brain is like a sieve when it comes to these facts. Gimme a Disney book, though, and it all stays up there. The only thing I have trouble with is names.

This would really come in handy if there was some sort of Disney-related degree. If I were to create such a degree, I'd definitely call it something awesome. Like Disnetics.

In other news, my mom didn't email me back all day. The nerve of that woman! I asked her a question! A QUESTION!!!

My DVR is an exceedingly bleak affair right now and I really just want to watch TV all night and go to bed early. I went out last night, which I'm really not accustomed to doing, and we stayed out til midders which is very late indeed for me when I have to work the next day. To put it simply, "Last night drinky, today no thinky".

There are some kids in my peripheral and they're not being watched in the least and I'm just waiting for something bad to happen. They're messing around on this little bench and fighting over who gets to sit there. Where is their mother?? So many orphans in this place. We have orphans often. Anybody? Gilbert and Sullivan? No? Ok. See ya later.