drip drip drop dripdripdrip

I did a Big Girl thing today that I hate doing... I called my landlord!

I have an inexplicable fear of landlords. I just prefer to have little contact with them. I don't know what it is. I guess I just don't like knowing some stranger has the key to my apartment. I picturing him walking around in there, opening all of my cabinets and looking in my messy-ass bedroom. Perusing my fridge and criticizing my diet. Wondering about my giant bag of smashed cans. Shaking his head at my dining room table turned crafting area. I'm always scared there's something in there that will displease him. It's a completely irrational fear, though. When I actually think about it, try to think of something that shouldn't be, there isn't anything. It's just silliness. And yet there it is, in the back of my head. 'Landlords are SCARY.'

After all, he is, sort of, The Man. And I've never gotten along so well with The Man. The Man doesn't like me and I fear his criticism.

There's no battery in my smoke detector. There it is! The thing! The thing that will make him mad! Or at least make him leave a passive-aggressive pamphlet about smoke alarm batteries. But, really. The stupid thing goes off anytime I use the stove. I don't know, I guess when I am burning to a crisp in my bed then I will have learnt my lesson. My neighbor's the one who decorates the fire extinguisher for Christmas. I think that's a little more dangerous.

The reason I called him this time around was because of the stupid bathtub faucet. The apartments were built in the 50's and, while they've been very well-maintained, the plumbing is still really ancient. You have a simple problem like a leaky faucet and it seems like it just opens up a whole can of wormy plumbing issues. Two years ago in the wintertime, the faucet started dripping. As the cold weather continued, it dripped more and more until it was really more of a stream. Finally there was a note on the door that the landlord would be checking each of the apartments because the water bill was high. This is the part where I started feeling silly about not calling in the first place.

The day came and I left him a note stating that it was probably my leaky faucet and I'm sorry I hadn't called and thanks!!!!!!!!!!! (I hope exclaimation points don't piss him off) He said he'd be back to fix the faucet and a few days later I realized what he meant by "fix". The faucet was no longer a stream but back to a drip. The handle had a bunch of scratch marks on it, so I assumed he probably just took a wrench and went at it.

This winter, the drip returned. Sure enough, it's now a stream. I discovered that lemon juice and vinegar beat out any other cleaning product on the market when it comes to cleaning off calcium and lime and they even keep it away when your faucet refuses to quit. That's a good tip, write that down. I used almost a whole bottle of CLR to no avail. Lemon juice and vinegar, I tell you. Anyhow, I did a google-search to see if we had a plausible do-it-myself situation. But I learned that it was probably an old washer and that everything was probably going to be stuck together because it was so old and I was looking at about $60 worth of supplies just to get the parts out to check.

There were no other options. It was time to call up Hunky. So I called him today and gladly left him a voicemail. Hopefully he calls a plumber this time instead of doing a quick-fix that'll have it leaking again in 6 months. But I'm not holding my breath.

I will be sure to share with you the exciting conclusion! I know you will be waiting with bated breath. And don't forget that vinegar/lemon juice thing!

blog for the sake of blog

I took some time to read back through my old blog entries and I have to say that I don't quite understand why I am not famous yet. I mean, this is good quality stuff, guys. Guys? Anybody?

So work got kinda busy and I lost my steam with the whole writing book reviews thing but I never stopped reading. I read a Pat Robertson book, that was an adventure I really should've taken you on with me. I apologize. I actually bought the book from the $3 Book Warehouse in Georgia so perhaps I will revisit it sometime for that purpose.

Right now I am reading several books. One is about the segregation in the school systems in America and I've nicely balanced that with another $3 Book Warehouse pick called Hard America, Soft America by Michael Barone. It reads like a never-ending essay that you're peer-editing. Its funny, this was another book I didn't realize was a Conservative book until after I started reading it. I always have this moment of, "Hey, wait a minute!" And then I read the author bio and it all falls into place. Its basically about how there's Hard America and Soft America and Hard America is what we need. Then he takes whatever he is talking about (justice system, welfare, education, war, etc.) and spins it so the best way is the Conservative way which is also Hard. Sometimes bureaucracies are good, sometimes they aren't. It all depends on who created them. Its a tangled web of "Huh??". But ok, Barone. If you say so.

I got into a debate with my richy-rich Conservative grandfather over dinner the other night. He just baits me and baits me until I can't take it anymore. I kept my mouth shut all the way until the coffee was served. But guess what? I won. For once, for the first time, for the first ever ever ever time, I totally won. I knew all his talking points, I knew all the facts, I trapped him and he knew it. And he had this crazy gleam in his eye--he liked it. He knew it was on like for realz this time. Its good to know that I can hold my own with those guys now. I've come a long way, baby!

Ok, while we're having a chat, let's talk TV. Let's talk Ricky Gervais show, actually. So I am to believe that this show is a big hit? Really? I like Ricky Gervais as much as the next gal but you cannot computer animate a podcast and call it a show and expect me to like it. Its not the same thing as a TV show. Which is what I want to watch when I am watching...TV. Yeah. Get it? Got it? I don't know. I get bored. I find it annoying and maybe even a bit cumbersome. It plods along like a great square tire made of stone. Plomp. Boosh. Plomp. Oh ok, there was something funny. Plomp. Not worth sitting through all that plomping.

Let's hear it for all my trashy shows, though! 90210, Melrose Place and Gossip Girl have really been spot-on so far this spring. Just the kind of trashy ridiculousness that I desire from them. Annie is totally going to steal Liam from Naomi. Rumer Willis made Adrianna a lesbian. The new neighbor is cutting open corpses and looking sketchball. Ella is getting framed by Heather Locklear. Jenny is gonna steal Nate from Serena. Life is good.

Well anyway, I guess I haven't really got anything more to say. Maybe if I led a more thrilling life I would be inclined to write more. Or maybe I wouldn't. Damned if I'll ever know. Word to you and yours.

in which there is, perhaps, tmi

Its that time again. I haven't got a tale to tell, so here are some rolling thoughts as I check out the latest news (as I am working). For the record, I have been alone for a very long time, so I thought it was safe to let one go, and then customers came in, and they left very quickly. And its kind of funny. But not very ladylike.

My issue with giving KSM a trial is that we didn't follow our own fucking laws so how can we win such a trial? I don't know, I need someone smarter to ask questions about this. I happened to catch them talking about it on Joy Behar last night. I've never watched her show before, but it seemed really inane and I am no smarter than I was before I flipped to channel 10. Come on, NPR. I need you to come through here. I like Julie Andrews as much as the next gal, but I'd rather get this all hashed out.

Like, seriously, Julie Andrews is doing a cow voice right now.

Here's a weird one--I've noticed recently that I flatten my tongue to the back of my bottom teeth. Sort of bend it down and press it against them. I do it when I'm falling asleep and now I've noticed myself doing it idly. And it feels weird and I wanna stop. Is this a symptom of some lethal underlying illness? I'll never know.

Why won't AT&T just face the fact that their coverage sucks? It does! Everything about AT&T sucks. Quit crying and fix it or face the consequences.

Oh my god... Oh my giddy god... Palin/Beck 2012?? Oh please, yes. They can't win, right? Its safe, right? It would just be funny, right?? Although I saw a rather unnerving channel 12 poll the other night..Granted it wasn't closed for another hour when I saw it but the question was, "Who is more qualified to run for President, Palin or Clinton?" And Palin was WINNING. Not by a lot but still. Cincinnati, you suck. It didn't even say "Who would you vote for?" It asked who was more QUALIFIED. That doesn't even need to be asked, really.

Okie dokie, well, my replacement is here, so that's all for today. I shall try to write more in hopes that someday someone will read it. Good day.

Random unconnected thoughts.

The Great Internet War of 2009 is, for the moment, over. And I am the victor. So I bring this blog straight at you! WHAM.

I have an odd fascination with men's butts. They're just so varied and sometimes hard to understand. And when you see a really good one, you just can't look away. Its like a special treasure.

There is a tiny tooth looking just delighted and awestruck with googly eyes sitting in a green lounge chair. These sort of things tend to happen around here.

I feel like Windows is ridiculously out of touch if they think the "look and feel" of a Mac is what drives users to switch over. Its the utter frustration only Windows can cause that does it.

Is it possible for everyone to be rich? And still have a hierarchy. Like, if the poor people were rich then they could buy more and the rich people would be even richer. But what would give? Cost of living would rise so the poor rich would be poor poor again?

I cannot read comment sections. They make me too angry. I don't think irrationally, really. But is it worth becoming enraged each day? It seems fun at first but its really exhausting. I think the woman talking about the "horrors of marijuana withdrawal" was the real last straw for me.

They have found that dyslexic kids may have trouble focusing on a teacher's voice amidst all the other noises in a classroom. I have trouble focusing on someone's voice amidst all the thoughts in my head. And all the words coming out of my mouth. And then there's the whole thing where you have to, like, take the noises coming out of a person's mouth and seperate them into words and then figure out what the words were. Listening to others is so very complicated.

Dr. Michael Reinstein was given nearly $500k from AstraZeneca as he conducted research on Seroquel. This is such a stunning example of why health care should have nothing to do with profits. It becomes not at all about people's health and all about stuffing your bank account. Its really sickening the amount of people in the world who will do anything for a buck. Well, a whole bunch of bucks. I really don't understand how they live with themselves, truly. Does the money justify that sort of behavior to people or do they just go so far into denial that they don't even realize how villainous they've become? I suppose its the latter, as everyone is saying they didn't do anything wrong and it didn't effect the research and blah blah. It just makes me so very, very uncomfortable.

Is it just me or does it seem like Fox News is correcting itself now where it never used to before? Methinks they are not the mavericks they acted like they were a few weeks ago. But then Murdoch's out there running his mouth, so maybe not.

I am really enjoying the firing of Prof. David Nutt being referred to as "Nutt sacking". I'm not entirely sure if its on purpose or not, but well played if so.

I think the fact that this girl is wearing Britney Spears perfume sort of ruins the image she appears to be striving for. I should tell her I know her secret.

Wouldn't it be kind of exciting if the world ended? Everyone talks about it like it would be a bad thing.

You gotta hand it to the AMA, they've really been pleasing me lately. First supporting health care reform and now calling for a "review" of marijuana prohibition. Keep up the good work, guys!
I am glad that Leno is getting bad ratings. This is due to his show sucking. I feel like a fool for even getting inexplicably excited and thinking it would be good. How wrong I was. The only thing worth watching is Headlines. And the headlines are funny, Leno does not enhance them in the least. Sorry, Jay. You lose. We need a fresh face, not the same old crapola.

Whoever put the bouncy balls near all of the glass bottles is proving my case about why I should be in charge of everything ever. And with that I am off. Ta.

my brains rotting out

Of everything I read, of everything I try to learn about, the one thing that is really effortless is Disney. Somehow I retain all the fun facts that I read. I read so many nonfiction books trying to increase my knowledge of science and history, but my brain is like a sieve when it comes to these facts. Gimme a Disney book, though, and it all stays up there. The only thing I have trouble with is names.

This would really come in handy if there was some sort of Disney-related degree. If I were to create such a degree, I'd definitely call it something awesome. Like Disnetics.

In other news, my mom didn't email me back all day. The nerve of that woman! I asked her a question! A QUESTION!!!

My DVR is an exceedingly bleak affair right now and I really just want to watch TV all night and go to bed early. I went out last night, which I'm really not accustomed to doing, and we stayed out til midders which is very late indeed for me when I have to work the next day. To put it simply, "Last night drinky, today no thinky".

There are some kids in my peripheral and they're not being watched in the least and I'm just waiting for something bad to happen. They're messing around on this little bench and fighting over who gets to sit there. Where is their mother?? So many orphans in this place. We have orphans often. Anybody? Gilbert and Sullivan? No? Ok. See ya later.